The marketing for Eenie Meanie touts the film as being the brainchild of “the guys who wrote Deadpool,” which conjures up images of an action-comedy laced with egregious helpings of snark. But co-writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick really only take producer credits here. Instead, the keys are handed over to Shawn Simmons, a television creative — whose most notable work is arguably The Continental, a three-part spin-off of the John Wick universe — making his directorial debut. Simmons, who also wrote the screenplay, is setting out here to make a getaway driver feature, not unlike Nicolas Winding Refn’s Drive or Edgar Wright’s Baby Driver. However, Simmons eschews the Euro-arthouse style of Drive or the heavily sonic texture of Baby Driver, turning his attention to the characters instead, focusing on flawed individuals embroiled in a life of crime simply because they don’t know any better. Eenie Meanie opts to have a sensitive side amidst the intermittent moments of vehicular mayhem, and while the film is suitably made with a pair of strong performances at its front and center, the picture as a whole never quite transcends the clichés it’s built upon, resulting in a largely derivative affair that only pops in fits and spurts.
Since she was 14 years old, Edie (Samara Weaving) has often found herself on the wrong side of the law, raised by a criminal Dad (Steve Zahn) to be a getaway driver for his exploits, forced to chauffeur her folks back home after an evening of drug dealing and heavy drinking out on the town. Despite her skill behind the wheel, Edie could never outrun the justice system forever, eventually separated from her parents and dumped into the foster system before being taken in by crime boss Nico (Andy Garcia), who harnesses her vehicular prowess, even dubbing her “Eenie Meanie” after her penchant for cleaning up the messes others have made. Now a young woman, Edie has attempted to go straight, balancing a normal social life in Cleveland alongside her job as a bank teller and education as an economics major. When a robbery at work results in Edie being assaulted, she learns she’s also pregnant, necessitating a visit to ex-boyfriend John (Karl Glusman), a worthless delinquent whom she has only recently dumped from her life. Unfortunately, old habits die hard, finding John already thrust in yet another criminal scheme and Edie unwittingly dragged along as an accomplice, upending any sense of equilibrium she had just carefully established in her life. As it turns out, John owes Nico three million dollars, and to clear his debt, he needs to rob a poker tournament taking place at a casino in Toledo, where the prize money is on display in the trunk of a car on the showroom floor. Edie reluctantly agrees to be the getaway driver, hoping one final job could finally be her ticket to normalcy.
Edie’s life is largely defined by perpetual exasperation. A night of celebrating a friend’s birthday party causes her to be late for work, which also happens to be the very shift that gets her pistol-whipped by a masked robber, resulting in the discovery of her pregnancy at the doctor’s office. The poor woman can’t catch a break, and this is made no better by the re-entry of John into her life, forcing Edie to run, shoot, and drive away from Nico’s enforcers. Simmons makes sure Eenie Meanie moves at an agreeable clip for much of the first act, keeping the action coming fast and furious as Edie is forced to reignite her getaway driving expertise. Complicating her world further is Nico himself, who will see to it that John’s skeleton be separated from his body should he fail to pay the mobster back, forcing the young woman back into a world she had fought tooth and nail to climb out of. The second act of Eenie Meanie lays out the particulars of the heist, which involves switching the show car where the money is, including the need to somehow bypass the prized car’s empty tank of gasoline, as it’d otherwise be worthless to drive out of there. More players are introduced, including The Chaperone (Jermaine Fowler), who acts as Nico’s liaison out in the field, and then there’s the shadowy figure known as Perm Walters (Marshawn Lynch), Nico’s regular getaway driver who just so happens to also be in Toledo during the weekend of the heist.
Despite organizing all the familiar elements in place, the casino job plays second fiddle to Edie and John’s relationship, as the two work out their past failures and potential future as a family, while planning the heist. The plot takes a detour to Edie’s Dad’s house, who gave up his life of crime and has since remarried, even raising another loving daughter in a suburban setting, offering Edie a glimpse of the life she’s never had. Though the heist is eventually pulled off, Simmons is curiously less interested in delivering a full-throttled thriller than he is in tugging your heartheartstringsotentially interesting divergence but one that only feels partially realized. Weaving and Glusman at least manage to offer touching, grounded performances, but Simmons simply doesn’t bring this tale to a satisfying close, retaining far too many familiar beats from superior works. The sincerity in a narrative template not known for it is appreciated, but while Eenie Meanie is perfectly passable as far as streaming service content goes, there’s little here to distinguish it from the rest of the middling pack.
DIRECTOR: Shawn Simmons; CAST: Samara Weaving, Karl Glusman, Jermaine Foweler, Randall Park, Marshawn Lynch; DISTRIBUTOR: Hulu; STREAMING: August 22; RUNTIME: 1 hr. 34 min.
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